Hawaiian Culottes, Cuban Lounge Singers and Naked Time: 浪淘沙 Bathhouse

After getting back from the Great Wall, Jess and I were tired, grubby, and sick of our tiny hotel shower. We decided to check out a Chinese bathhouse, which we read about in our super awesome guidebook, "The Insider's Guide to Beijing." There were only a few listed in the guidebook, however, so we took to the internet to get more research. The term "bathhouse" certainly brings up some seedy connotations so we wanted to make sure we went somewhere legit and women friendly. I put a post up on the Beijinger.com asking for recommendations and someone put up a link to this place, 浪淘沙 or Langtaosha. It did say that it's on the more expensive side, but it was clean and friendly and that sounded perfect to us.

We took a cab and went in to the opulent lobby. The desk girls spoke some English, so we were able to figure out the cost (188 yuan) which included shower, spa, sauna, steam room and buffet dinner. Extra treatments are additional cost, as well as massages, private VIP rooms and alcohol. We were pretty desperate for a bath so we said yes, lead us to the showers!

Upon entry, each person is issued your standard Chinese style molded plastic slippers (one size fits most, not me however; ladies get pink and gentlemen get white and blue) and you go to the locker room and change. Er, rather, you strip off all your clothes, throw them in a locker with a unique key that you keep the whole time and get bathing. They did have Hello Kitty wraps which I used as a towel (oops) but this is definitely a clothing free zone. The bathing areas are single sex, so it was just Jess, myself and a bunch of Chinese ladies. There were about 5 other women in the bathing area with us, some younger and some older. Everyone first takes a shower before getting into the soaking tub, shampoo, soap, conditioner and even toothpaste and packaged toothbrushes are provided. They also provide shower caps if you want.

After the shower we went in the soaking tub for a while, which was sort of lukewarm, and then the steam room. Jess decided to get a "body scrub", which entailed a woman taking a fresh scrubby mitt to Jess's body and essentially rubbing off a layer of skin. According to Jess, this woman left no part of her body unscrubbed (hilarious). These ladies (attired in employee issue black bra and black granny panties set) also can give you a la carte oil rubs, cupping, sugar scrubs, milk baths and other things that I didn't know in Chinese (only some things provided English translation, and the translation wasn't great, i.e. "Ginger scrub to vitalize the area"). Next time we come back I think I will try one of the scrubs.

While Jess was getting her skin rubbed off, I sat around in the sauna and the soaking tub, plus did a number on my feet with a pumice stone. They have the little sit-down (you sit on a polished marble cube) showering stations for use after the steam room, sauna or scrub treatment. The decor inside the bathing area is classic nouveau riche tacky, sparkly tile, huge fake flower displays, marble and gold. It kind of looks like the pleasure planets that the Starship Enterprise visits on the original Star Trek, when they didn't have that much money for sets. The place was clean, however, and the staff friendly (even though they hang over your shoulder in the locker room, which is sort of odd). After some sauna and more soaking, Jess and I decided to hit up the buffet. We were issued some incredibly unflattering culotte scrubs with a loud Hawaiian print. We also got some pink granny panties to wear. Everything was one size fits all, so they were more bermuda shorts style on me of course.

The buffet was on the 4th floor (unsure what was on 2 and 3) and was coed. We passed by people getting clothed massages, as well as a lot of people lounging around on chaise longe chairs watching movies on flatscreens with headphones. Everyone is in the little culotte outfits. The men had a slightly different Hawaiian print. There were also a few families around.

The buffet was pretty expansive, with seafood delicacies (I stuck to the boiled head-on shrimp), fried cicadas, meats, veggies, cold dishes, steamed dumplings, various baos, hand pulled noodles and soups. They also had a delicious dessert tray with many bean stuffed delicacies and a really tasty tapioca soup that Jess and I snarfed. The clientele in the dining room was about 75% male, 25% female. There were no foreigners at all. We got some bemused looks, but no stares. There were quite a few businessmen making business deals, smoking and drinking. The dining area also featured a lounge singing act, with a very sharply dressed Chinese man playing the piano, a bored looking Chinese singer, and a white girl singing. Jess and I were fascinated by her, and we wondered what brought her to China to work in a Chinese bathhouse. When she started singing some Shakira songs, we realized she must be from a Spanish speaking country because her accent was excellent. We made sure to clap enthusiastically when she finished her songs, which she appreciated.

After the buffet, we went back to the bathing section to re-bathe, since it was smoky in the dining area. While we were in the shower, the lounge singer came in and said hi to us, clearly having recognized us from earlier. We were chatting and it turned out she was from Cuba. Jess was very excited to hear this, since Jess went to Cuba recently while doing her semester abroad in Mexico. The lounge singer said she came to China 4 years ago to work, and that she works 6 days a week, for only 3 hours at the bathhouse, but this is the only place she works. Jess and I later discussed it and we figured that there must be some sort of additional "work" she does, if you know what I mean. These bathhouses, even the most high-class ones, have special services for gentlemen clients--it's standard operating procedure in pretty much all Asian countries.

We had such a fun time at the bathhouse we definitely plan to go back. We will likely go during the day, however, to take advantage of the 1/2 price special. One can even spend the night at the spa and stay until 5pm the next day, not a bad deal--all you can eat buffets included! They have beds available either dormitory style or private room (private rooms cost extra, of course). Since we only would take advantage of the buffet and wash area, that stuff didn't appeal to us. It was a perfect, relaxing end to a sweaty and active day!